


You're A Lifesaver

by SourwolfSeblaine



Series: Seblaine Week 2020 [5]
Category: Glee
Genre: Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, New York, Not Klaine Friendly, Seblaine Week 2020, Sharing a Room, klaine break up, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25359361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SourwolfSeblaine/pseuds/SourwolfSeblaine
Summary: Instead of going to Eli C's house, Blaine goes tot talk to Sebastian.--Seblaine Week 2020, day 5: hurt/comfort
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Seblaine Week 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1827235
Comments: 3
Kudos: 71
Collections: Seblaine Week 2020





	You're A Lifesaver

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one such a long time ago, I barely remember what happens in it. Also, sorry for the late post! At first I forgot, and then I was just too lazy.

Blaine stares at the phone in his hand, his heart beating fast. His phone buzzes as soon as another text appears on his screen.

**_ Eli C: want 2 come over?  _ **

He turns off the screen, letting his head fall on the wall behind him as he closes his eyes. He just feels so lonely, it hurts.

He knows he’s the one who told Kurt to go to New York, but he did because he knew they made promises. They were going to call every day. Tell each other their stories and listen to one another. They were going to try to make it work.

But Kurt called once, when he arrived in New York. And send a text when he and Rachel bought a loft. After that, it was Blaine calling, and Kurt having excuses not to talk. Too busy with his Vogue internship. Going to a party with Rachel. Going to a party without Rachel, hanging out with his coworkers. Having dinner with friends. The list goes on and on and on.

He hadn’t even asked how Blaine was doing in the  two minute conversations they had. It was only about what Kurt was going to do, how fun it is in New York, and, the one that hurt the most, how he didn’t miss Lima at all.

Did Kurt miss him? He wonders if Kurt even thinks about him, or if he’s too busy having a new life. And Blaine hates himself for hating that Kurt has a new life. He mostly hates that he’s not part of that new life.

He has seen the posts on Rachel’s Facebook. Their new life is fun.

His phone buzzes again, but he doesn’t dare to look at it. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Chatting with some guy. 

Last year, when Kurt was flirty texting with some  guy he met in a music store, Blaine got mad. He counts it as cheating. And here he is, getting the same texts that Kurt sent.

He kind of wonders if it’s karma. Or a test. That Kurt is looking at the chat from a different screen, waiting to see what Blaine is going to do.

And Blaine doesn’t know what to do.

He has always been a ‘clingy’ person, though he didn’t like calling himself that. He just loved affection. When he dreamed of having a boyfriend, he dreamed of holding hands, hugging, sweet kisses and being there for one another, doing things together.

And now that Kurt is gone, there is no one to hold his hand, there’s no one to hug – well, there is Sam, but having your best friend hug you is different than your lover -, there’s no one giving him kisses and telling him he’s going to be ok.

Not that there was that much affection when Kurt was still in Lima, he thought Blaine was too clingy and wanted a lot of space. He didn’t like holding his hand in public or doing things together.

He just wants someone, who isn’t his mother or his best friend, to hold him. Tell him he’ll be okay.

Sometimes he wonders what it would’ve been like if he had stayed at Dalton. Would Kurt have broken up with him for not transferring? Or would they have tried to have a relationship? Would it have failed? Surely the current situation would have been the same.

Although he’d be less lonely. At Dalton, he had so many friends. Friends he barely talks to anymore, because he was focused on fitting in in the New Directions most of the time. But there he had Trent, Nick, Jeff... and now Sebastian.

He gets up, leaving his phone where he threw it a few seconds ago. He glances at the clock on his wall, it’s not that late yet, Dalton’s doors are still open for those staying in the dorm rooms, and it’s still a time that he could leave without his parents getting mad.

He gives his parents a lame excuse, going to one of the New Directions members because he left a study book at their house. He hasn’t even been to anyone’s house, no one has ever invited him to hang out. 

The drive to Dalton is tough. Not because of the traffic, no, most people are already home, and it’s never busy on the road towards Westerville. But because of the silence in the car, and the loudness of the voices in his head, wondering what the hell he’s doing.

What is he going to say? Who is he going to talk to? Do they even want to see them? Don’t they hate him now? He completely abandoned them for Kurt, and the Warblers are brothers, so that must’ve hurt.

What if he arrives there, and he gets send away  immediately ? That they don’t even want to give him a chance.

And what if they don’t? He still doesn’t know what he’s going to do when he gets there.

He reaches for the radio, wanting music as a distraction, but the radio is playing Teenage Dream and it brings back memories he does not want to think about. Because that was ‘their song’, as Kurt called it, even though Kurt has made it perfectly clear he’s not a fan of Blaine’s love for top 40 songs. But he liked this song, because Blaine was singing it the first time they met.

And when Kurt developed a crush on him.

So he turns the radio off. But the memories come back anyway. The way Kurt had looked at him back then, it was obvious how he had felt about Blaine. Admiration in his eyes. 

And he realizes that the last time they saw each other, Kurt looked at him in a different way. 

He arrives at Dalton sooner than he expected, probably with some speeding tickets waiting at home in a few days. When he parks his car, he doesn’t get out immediately. He takes a few breaths, trying to come up with something to say.

The hallways are quiet, only one or two boys walking towards their rooms. Blaine barely thinks about where he’s going. You could say that he’s following an instinct when he’s stopping before an all  too familiar dorm room.

He knocks on it. Almost praying that Sebastian isn’t having a hook up with someone at the moment. He  cannot deal with that awkwardness right now.

The door opens to reveal Sebastian. Shirtless. With a towel slipping down his hips.

Blaine has to do his best not to stare. Or to gasp. Or to stop breathing.

Well, Sebastian already succeeded in distracting from his problems.

Damn it, not he’s thinking about his problems again.

“Blaine?” Sebastian asks, surprised, his hand holding the towel in place, “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to someone,” Blaine answers, but adds, “To you.”

Sebastian stares at him for a few seconds, confusion written all over his face. He takes a step back, opening the door and revealing his slightly messy dorm room to Blaine, “Is it okay if I get dressed first?”

Blaine can’t help but chuckle, even though he’s feeling sad, “Yeah, of course. I’m not going to force you to stand there naked.”

“Oh, damn, I hoped you would.” Sebastian winks at him before walking back to the bathroom. Blaine can’t stop himself from watching Sebastian before the door closes, the water dripping down from his hair on his shoulders, down his back, disappearing under the towel. 

He sits down on Sebastian’s unmade bed. The room hasn’t changed much. There are still trophies on a shelf, a picture frame next to his bed of Sebastian and his mother when he was five years old. There are study books scattered over the desk, and a few science-fiction books piled on the floor. Besides that, the room is empty. 

Blaine remembers his own dorm room, his wall was filled with pictures of him with his family or with the Warblers, he had as much bookshelves as he could fit in the room, and they were all filled with his favorite books. 

The bathroom door opens again, and now Sebastian walks out wearing clothes. Blaine had only seen Sebastian a few times without his Dalton blazer. When they hung out, it was usually before Sebastian had time to change. And Sebastian loved showing off the Dalton uniform.

Now he’s wearing his lacrosse hoodie and sweatpants, his hair still a little wet and messy from the towel. He looks totally different than the Sebastian he had met last year.

“So, what’s up?” Sebastian asks, dropping himself on the chair at his desk. 

“I, uh...” This is what he was afraid of. What is he going to say? Why is he bothering Sebastian with this? 

“Trouble in paradise?” Sebastian guesses, “Did he cheat again?”

“What? No. I mean, no to the cheating. Though in his defense, he wouldn’t call flirting over texts cheating.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, “What did he do then? Or what did you do?”

Blaine stares at the ground, “He’s moving on from Lima. And I think he’s also moving on from me.”

Sebastian’s eyes soften a little, and the smirk turns into a frown, “What makes you think that?”

“He doesn’t respond to my text. He’s out there, having fun, making new friends, hanging out with guys who are way more attractive than me-”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“-all he talks about is how fun it is, how he doesn’t miss Lima, how he’s finally happy, feels accepted. How he never wants to leave New York. He’s not even going back for Christmas, or any other holiday, because he wants to experience it in New York.”

“Well, if he’s not going to come here to see you, you should go there and give him a piece of your mind.” Sebastian answers, “Then he has no excuse to leave. He won’t be able to hang up on the conversation.”

Blaine shakes his head, “I can’t do that. I... I don’t think I’m able to tell him that. Last year, every time I had something on my mind, I wasn’t able to say it out loud. Not to him. We’re not good at talking about our problems, we usually just deal with it ourselves.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy, even I know communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and I’ve never even been in a relationship.” 

“I guess it’s not. It doesn’t feel good. I miss him.” Blaine tells him, “I miss being part of his life. Of him being part of mine. He doesn’t even know anything about how my school year is going. I haven’t been able to tell him. He has no idea that Sam is now my best friend, that I won the school’s election for president of the student council. He doesn’t know that I feel lonely, that I feel left out. The new members of the New Directions are starting to be my friends, but the older ones, except for Tina, still see me as Kurt’s boyfriend, and not me as Blaine, their team mate.”

Blaine didn’t even know he was crying until he feels Sebastian sitting next to him and a hand around his shoulders, pulling him towards him. 

He tries to ignore the fact that his tears are probably leaving a stain on Sebastian’s hoodie, and that the way it feels, Sebastian hugging him, is exactly what he was missing.

It’s also something that makes him lose all control he had left, and he ends up full on sobbing. Ugly crying, as Tina would call it. 

It’s one of the things no one except Blaine and a few Warblers know about Sebastian, but he’s a good listener, and a good friend when he feels like it. And he’s a good hugger, but Blaine doubts many Warblers know that.

It takes a while before Blaine has calmed down, feeling like there are no more tears left to cry. He pulls away, wiping his face with the sleeves of his sweater. Sebastian looks conflicted, not sure what to do, but he places his hand on Blaine’s knee, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Blaine tries not to look at the big, wet stain that he left on Sebastian’s hoodie.

“I think you should do it. Go to New York, I mean. You two really need to talk about this, because if you don’t, it will get worse, and you might do things you’ll regret. I know you, Blaine, and you’re not the type of person for a long-distance relationship, especially not if he’s ignoring you.” Sebastian tells him with a gentle voice, one Blaine hadn’t heard before.

“I’m not sure if I can do it.”

Sebastian stays silent for a few minutes, obviously thinking, before he responds, “What if I came with you?”

“Kurt would kill you.” Blaine answers.

Sebastian shakes his head ,” No , not like that. You’ll have to talk to him alone, but you won’t have to take the trip to New York alone, you won’t have to stay alone in a hotel.”

“You’d do that? We’re not even...”

“Friends? Blaine, I owe you, like, a lot.” Sebastian tells him, “The least I can do is make sure you’re not alone.”

Blaine nods, “Okay. Can we go this weekend? I don’t think I can wait much longer. You’re right, I need to talk to him, even though it will be difficult, it would only get worse if I won’t.”

“I’ll see if I can get some plane tickets.”

\--

The rest of the week goes by way too slow. The other members of the New Directions have noticed him behave a little different, more anxious and distant, but no one except Sam asked him about it. He told Sam the truth, who responded in a positive way. He agreed with Sebastian and wished him  good luck .

And now, when it’s finally Friday, he feels like he’s going to explode. He’s nervous and anxious, and it makes him jittery, as if he drank five coffees in an hour. But he has barely been able to eat dinner.

His parents knew about his plan, he wasn’t going to lie to them about going to a different state. They were a little wary about him traveling to New York City, but when he told them Sebastian was going to be with him, they agreed. They had also seen the difference in his behavior. 

The car ride towards the airport is silent, Blaine has no idea how Sebastian is feeling. Of course, he’s not as nervous as Blaine, he isn’t going to have a conversation with his boyfriend which he has no idea how it will end. 

The music is playing softly on the background, but for once, Blaine doesn’t feel like listening to it.

They have to wait awhile before they can get on the plane, it’s delayed half an hour. And when they’re finally on it, there’s an annoyingly child sitting behind them. It’s a chaotic flight, and Blaine is happy when he can let himself fall down on the bed in the hotel room Sebastian booked.

“When are you going to talk to him? Tonight, or tomorrow?” Sebastian asks him, sitting down on the other bed in the room. 

“I planned on going tonight, but he’s probably out with friends, and I’m exhausted from that flight.” Blaine answers, “I don’t think he’d appreciate me getting in the way of having fun on a Friday night.”

Sebastian lets himself fall down too, staring at the ceiling, “We can always go exploring the city, hoping we don’t run in Hummel or Berry.”

“That sounds like a good idea, I doubt I’ll be in the mood to see New York after the conversation with Kurt. I’ve always wanted to visit  New York; I can’t believe I’m here.” 

“Have you ever thought about going here to college?” Sebastian asks him curiously.

“Not really. At least not until I started dating Kurt. I always wanted to go to LA, stay at my brother’s apartment. We already had it planned.” Blaine answers, “But Kurt convinced me to go to New York. If it means I’ll be closer to him...”

Sebastian sits up, “I don’t think that’s a good plan. You can’t change all of your life plans for a relationship.”

“It’s just college.” Blaine says.

“Is it though? Before you know it, you will give up your dreams. I remember how you felt when you got that role in a school musical, and that Kurt was jealous. What if you have to decline roles just because your boyfriend gets jealous that you’re more successful. What if you have  build a life there, and Kurt wants to move to a new, different city.”

Blaine glances at him, “Damn, Sebastian. I was talking about college, not my whole life.”

Sebastian sighs, “It’s just, my mom changed so much stuff to make my dad happy. She gave up her dreams, moved to a different country.”

“Kurt and I aren’t your parents.”

“Thank God. That would be horrific.” Sebastian snorts.

“But I get your point.” Blaine sighs, “And Cooper would never forgive me if I wouldn’t go to LA with him. And we finally have a good relationship again.”

“Well, you won’t be alone there, most of the Warblers want to go to LA. So do I.” Sebastian replies, “Nick and Jeff want us all to rent a house, but I’m not sure if that will be a good idea.”

“They’d drive you crazy.” Blaine laughs, he glances at the clock, “Maybe we can go exploring tomorrow, I don’t really feel like leaving, maybe we can watch a movie instead. Or Teen Wolf, I’ve been wanting to make someone watch it and see their reactions. Did you know Mike Chang’s mother plays in it? And one of the characters looks weirdly like my brother when he was younger...”

“Okay.” Sebastian nods, laughing softly.

\--

Before he knows it, Blaine is standing in front of the door leading to Kurt’s loft. His heart is beating loudly and he tries to remember his conversation with Sebastian earlier that day. They had talked about what Blaine would say. Sebastian pretended to be Kurt, and for someone who barely knows Kurt, he said a lot of things that Kurt would say. 

He takes another deep breath before knocking on the door. 

There are loud voices on the other side, as if people are yelling, and a few minutes later the door opens, revealing Rachel in het bathrobe, her hair hidden by a towel, “Blaine?” She sounds shocked. “What are you doing here? You didn’t text that you were coming.”

“I wanted to talk to Kurt.” Blaine tells her.

She frowns, “Now might not be the best time for that.”

“What? Why not?”

She glances back over her shoulder, “He had a party last night and is a little hungover. And definitely not in the mood for company.”

Blaine sighs, “I flew all the way over here to talk to him, I’m not going to let him use another excuse to avoid me.”

Rachel’s eyes widen at the  harshness in his voice, “All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” She opens the door, “Come in.”

Rachel points at a curtain and goes back to what Blaine thinks is the bathroom. He slowly walks to the curtain, mentally preparing himself before he pushes it open a little. Kurt is lying on the bed with his face buried in his pillow.

“Seriously, Rachel, I told you not to bother me.” Kurt says frustrated, looking up. “Blaine?”

“Uh, hi.” Blaine awkwardly scratches his neck.

“What are you doing here? What are you doing in my room? Why didn’t you text you were coming over?” Kurt doesn’t really sound happy. More like... angry.

“Because you ignore all of my texts.” Blaine replies, “So I came to talk to you in person.”

Kurt groans as he sits up, “Can you, like, wait a few hours?”

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” Blaine says. 

Kurt just stares at him, “I don’t see what’s so important to talk about.”

Blaine feels like he’s shaking from anger and frustration. “You have been ignoring me since you left. We promised each other that we would keep contact, make it work, that you’d never want me to feel alone, but that’s exactly what happened. I’ve been so alone, feeling so lonely lately.”

“You could’ve told me. And don’t go acting like this is my fault, you’re the one who told me to go to New York.”

“Because you were unhappy in Lima. I’m not sad that you left, I’m angry that you never bothered to listen to me, to listen to what it’s like in Lima. And no, I couldn’t have told me, because you hang up the phone before I can even say a word.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, “You’re being dramatic. And clingy. I’m busy, okay? I have a life  too, I’m not going to stop hanging with my friends just because my clingy boyfriend wants some attention.”

“You- I can’t believe you.” Blaine runs his hand through his hair. “Kurt, we need to talk about this, we need a plan to make this work, because right now... I don’t think this will work.”

“Maybe you’re right, this doesn’t work.” Kurt gets up. “I can’t fully move on if I have a boyfriend left in Lima. I can’t have the full New York experience while not being single... Maybe we should break up.”

It hurts. It really does. Even though he had expected it. Even though he had prepared for it. It still hurts.

“Okay.” Is the only thing he’s able to  say. Because what else is there to say? Everything he had prepared suddenly left his mind, he’s blanking, his mind is empty. 

“Okay.” Kurt repeats, staring at him. It takes him a few seconds before he realizes Kurt wants him to leave.

So he does.

Rachel looks at him curiously from the kitchen, but he ignores her, walking out of the loft. And probably out of Kurt’s life.

\--

Sebastian is lying on his stomach, watching the tv, when Blaine walks in,

“You’re watching Teen Wolf without me?”

Sebastian looks up, pausing the show, “It’s addictive. And I need more shirtless Derek.”

Blaine snorts and sits down on his bed. Well, not his bed, the hotel bed. 

“How did it go? You don’t look like you’ve been crying all the way home.”

Blaine shrugs, “Is it weird that I feel... relieved, somehow? Like, sure, I’m sad, but... It felt like we were already broken up. It’s just confirmed now.”

Sebastian frowns, “Are you okay?”

“I think so,” Blaine nods, “It’s what’s best for us both. He can now... Really experience the New York experience? Without being single? Whatever he meant with that. And I can focus on moving on and not get distracted by the fact that my boyfriend lives in a different state and is ignoring me. But I’m definitely going to cry my eyes out as soon as I’m home, if that’s what you mean.”

Sebastian looks at the mini-fridge on the other side of the room, “I bought ice cream to cheer you up.”

Blaine smiles, “You’re a lifesaver.”


End file.
